The experience of light

My name is Phindile Ngcobo. I come from South Africa where physical light is almost always shining. Light is such an obvious thing to perceive with the human eye but to consciously immerse myself in it and allow it to shine within me is not so easy. When I got this topic, I embarked on a journey to remember to be conscious of the light, the winter light.

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When I first experienced the winter in Dornach, I was amazed by how different it is from the winter I’m used to. For the first few days I was enjoyed the light and being indoors but after some time, I wondered when it would end, because I was starting to feel compressed. It was difficult for me to seek refuge in myself because I had never had to work from within for such a long period of time.

The experience of light for me in South Africa is intensified by the people, not just the ones in my circle but by the community itself. From their usage of proverbs and sarcasm to expressing themselves to the unyielding laughter that they harbor for uncomfortable situations. The state of the situation doesn’t matter, light and laughter prevails anywhere. I personally used to struggle with finding the light within during winter months. Winter was always my time to work using inner light to achieve the sensation of the external light. Because winter is so short in South Africa, I very much enjoyed having this time and wished it were longer.

Given the winter is so short in South Africa, I always thought that it was my favorite season because of how gloomy and dark some days got, which allowed me to go into myself, retreat and indulge all levels of my being into some sort of self care, be it reading a good book, doing a facial, nails, singing, chanting, stamping or even riding the weave of stillness in meditation. Shortly after my arrival in Dornach I realized that winter is not my favorite season, because it’s way colder than any winter I’ve experienced. I also realized that it is a very necessary season for me to learn new ways of cultivating internal warmth. The experience of my first winter in Europe made me realize the importance of doing what I LOVE, what I’m PASSIONATE about and what brings me PEACE to ignite the ambers of warmth within in the presence of the gloomy winter light.

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