The seed of metamorphosis

A thought came to me when I turned 40: “I have done what I have to do”. Yet, a yearning started within me to search for a new fountain of knowledge and experience. It was a day after my 42nd birthday when I sat on a circle on the opening day of the Anthroposophical Studies in English at the Goetheanum.

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Surprisingly, the Anthroposophic Foundation Course became for me the stepping stone to study painting, which I had never thought of pursuing before. Studying art could be a schooling of the soul in the deepest sense. For instance, painting deals with all sorts of polarities and at the same time, balances them. I discovered that art reveals the current state of the soul, creates equilibrium within, and liberates it to even higher states.

What I liked most in the process of painting was that I can correct my mistakes by balancing them out. In this way, the picture can be saved not by eliminating the errors but by integrating them. Though we can’t change the past, we can however find ways of overcoming our one-sidedness. My painting shows how to evolve in this process, and at the same time, how it affects and transforms the soul of the painter - myself.

For me, every picture becomes a part of a self-portrait. I need to look at the picture as a whole in order to find where and how I can bring the next color in. As a result of this process, the seed of metamorphosis is growing from within.

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